Servus, dear visitor!



Servus and a warm welcome to my other "Von Pappe" blog.

Edit 1: I have been thinking about this for quite some time now and have come to the decision to change this blog into a more personal one - more of a kind of diary of someone who struggles with Hashimoto thyroid disease (and therefore sometimes also depression) and also often with trying to be an artist (which both takes quite a lot of courage I found - especially when you lack self confidence ;).

Sometimes I feel I need to write down thoughts, ideas, plans or goals - just to make them "count" or more "real" for myself in a way. So what you will find in this place are traces of my personal journey towards feeling healthier again (after also having been diagnosed with borreliosis more recently) and also more confident as a creative.

I have also decided to keep this blog - though being quite personal - set to "public" in the hope that others who struggle, too and read my blog, feel less alone on their "journeys".

So if you choose to read posts on here you may well read about feelings and thoughts that are usually not being shared out there in crafty blogland and on facebook and all the other social platforms, where we all want to feel surrounded by shiny, happy people only to feel good and not be reminded of our own sorrows and struggles (which I totally understand to be honest).

Edit 2: After more consideration I have also decided to disable the commenting function, so no one needs to feel pressed to leave a comment, as some of my posts may seem as if I was "fishing for words of encouragement" I found...which definitely is the least I want for my wonderful creative friends out there, who care, to feel like!
I know you care - and for that I feel blessed and thankful! *

Please, know that I am fine. I just - like everybody else - have (harder) times when I am wearing the "darker glasses" and when I question everything and everyone and especially myself...and I also have times - and these are by far the majority - when it is just the usual artist's struggle...or real life struggle...or simply having gotten up on the wrong side of my bed....nothing exceptional. Just life.

Take care! XXX


PS: in case you want to contact me, do so via email under vonpappe2@yahoo.de


* a huge, heartfelt THANK YOU to all those who have left uplifting comments on here in the past! I've loved them all and always will. xxx

Sunday, 14 December 2014

A Flowery Meadow Before Christmas

Well, here it is....my flowery meadow right in the midst of a foggy, grey in grey winter! Of course I HAD TO finish it - BUT I did some cleaning up before...lol. At least just as much to keep a bad conscience at bay. ;)

Thank you for all the understanding comments on my last post concerning this matter! It really helps to know that you're not the only one who struggles with colliding painterly and X-mas decorating/cleaning interests. :)


 (this is just a fraction of the whole canvas...scroll down for more ;)

There was a  moment - right after I had added the blue that is meant to resemble the air and the sky on a hot summer day - when I thought I had messed it all up. Uh oh - the blue I had mixed with some white Gesso and some drops of a deep blue media fluid acrylic wasn't turquoise enough to contrast the flowers' colours and redoing all the blue space would have meant to spend more time on painting (which would have meant even less time for X-mas stuff...lol) - and also the risk of loosing precious texture from the crackle underneath! But I finally found a way to fix it rather quickly by scraping a vibrant red colour and some white Gesso with a palette knife onto some spots (which made the green pigment content from the blue I had used pop a bit more). Phew!

At one o'clock in the morning (and several "finishing touches" later) I sat in front of my bright and bloomin' flowery meadow and was (finally) content and happy (and ready for some relaxed sleep)!


(if you click on the images you get a larger view so you can see all the detail)

It's a 10''x 23'' (25 x 58 cm) canvas which I prepped with some Texture Crackle and heavy wet on wet colour spray misting to create random colour spots. Then the dry and highly textural surface was painted and doodled on with Gesso, acrylics and various markers.




I am still looking for a title for my canvas. It shows Bertram the grasshopper, who is preparing to leave this part of the meadow.




Maybe he's on the lookout for new adventures. Or he just wants to get away from Pubert, the ever ranting mosquito (who obviously suffers a heavy depression and scarcely makes it to the next blood filling station).




Besides this social mini-drama there's typical "meadow activity" of course.




Tiny moss is growing in the shade of some delicate crocus and other beauties' leaves.




And there's no real flowery meadow of course without the Canadian Burnet (= der "Gemeine Wiesenknopf" in German, which - if translated literally - means "Common Meadow Button")!




Bertram really has to make a very high jump to get past this large specimen:




Have you ever taken a really close look at a flower's construction? We tend to think of flowers as being quite "simple" - but in fact they aren't!




And there are so many different kinds of them! And they all work differently, have different needs and "guests" (like Maria, the lady bug - she prefers to spend her nights in the shelter of a wild Orchid's blossom for example). Here she is - getting ready for the night after a visit with her best friend Mathilda (an excentric dung beetle lady):



But even the simple stems of grasses or seedlings make a beautiful sight, don't they?




So I hope you have enjoyed your trip and meeting Bertram & Co. ! And I hope you do find some of the magic that I see and find in a common flowery meadow in my painting too. ;)



(C'mon, Pubert, ye grumpy ole chap! Feelers up! How about a little smile? Just give it a try. )

Claudia xxx

Thursday, 11 December 2014

So many ideas, so little time, so very procrastinating!

Seems I either have to learn to live with the fact that Christmas season is the time when something deep in me refuses to do any Christmas cards or Christmas home decorations or learn to already start in October so I will be done by the end of November.

It's the same with selfmade presents. I have started some, but then didn't like the idea or the outcome (as I mostly tend to think of my stuff not being good enough to make a worthy present for Christmas), redid them, had them already wrapped up for putting them with the mail and then took them out again to make some adjustments or changes....sigh. That's me I am afraid.

So here I am - slightly starting to feel that certain panic creeping up my back because there is still a lot of cleaning up to do before "Christkind can come visit our place" without finding cobwebs in the corners of my living room and dogs hair in almost every spot under the furniture. Not to mention the dusting around (or even under? really?) my treasures on my writing desk (which my husband tends to call "dust collectors") that most of the time leaves me with indulging in sweet memories connected to them....

I read somewhere on facebook these days (shouldn't spend so much time there either) that someone's mother in law uses to throw glitter at the cobwebs in the corners instead of dusting them off...so maybe I just have to adjust my point of view on this?

But instead of at least trying to start with one or the other agenda on my list I am doing stuff like this:







Can you believe it? This is going to be a wide canvas with a summer-y flower meadow in full bloom (seen from an insect's point of view) and I have never before enjoyed diving into colour (especially the greens), painting and doodling that much! And of course this happens when I should be finishing my presents, doing white on white, glittery Christmas goodness or baking cookies or planning this year's Christmas dinner.... can someone, please, hit me in the head? lol

But I am sure you know that feeling...you HAVE TO finish this painting because you so want to find out how it will look when it is done!!! Will it spread the feelings you wanted it to? Will it tell the story you had in your mind while painting? Will it form a complete piece of art that is more than just the sum of its components? Will others see in it what you wanted them to see and discover? So many questions and such an unknown outcome....could you do boring household stuff or concentrate on finishing up Christmas presents with questions like these at stake? And knowing that you definitely SHOULD, doesn't help. I can tell!

Guess I will have to lock up my studio so I can get (and stay) in Christmas preparations mood and enjoy this lovely and peaceful season of the year. But maybe I do need that summer-y meadow in full bloom to counter all the grey in grey and the cold wet weather... well, all I can tell is that I will try to do my best. Whatever that is. ;)

And for a finish my word of the day: procaffeinating = drinking coffee while procrastinating! That's so true, so me (and sadly a very addictive thing to do)...

xxx